Flip that Bird, Flip that Bone, or Flip Off with the Finger;  Damn!  All you need is balls big enough and a BoneStamp.

 

 

Flip Off Supplies--if your 'nads are bigger than your brains.

Developed by a Doctor to Help Anyone Act Just Like A Man.


THE BONESTAMP FACTORY IS CLOSED UNTIL DECEMBER 11, 2016

  Flip that Bird, Flip that Bone, or Flip Off with the Finger;  Damn!  All you need is balls big enough and a BoneStamp.

 

Solution Graphics

Home

A Personal History of BoneStamp®

It is a natural enough question to ask how I discovered male post-pubescent pre-senescent vengeful stress syndrome and and how I invented the perfect therapeutic appliance to treat it.  It was pure serendipity, beginning with the fact I was born male.  A little over eighteen years later, at the University of California at Davis, two friends of mine shared a room together in Bixby Hall.  They were a riotous pair who managed to extend their academic probation from the prior year throughout the entire academic year of 1964-65.   At the end of the Spring semester of their second year, both bandsmen were both notified they had flunked out. As they were packing their belongings to go home, one of them came to me with a secret offer I couldn't refuse:  the purchase and stewardship of  the mysterious and infamous "finger" stamp for $5.00 (at the time, approximately 6 Big Mac Meals at  McDonalds® or four tickets to a good movie or three gallons of Red Mountain Wine).  It was a ridiculously high price for a gum eraser into which had been carved the image of a hand giving the gesture we called "flipping the bone."  This particular image was well known to the residents of Bixby Hall because it had found its way on to every regulatory notice ever posted there. That is, whether coming from the august Regents of the University of California or the poor beleaguered Dorm Mother, every notice had been decorated within 24 hours of posting by a red ink version of the bone carved in the gum eraser. No one knew where the stamp came from or who was doing the stamping. Suddenly, I knew both secrets and the opportunity to assume a legend was mine.  I leveraged my assets and managed to raise the outrageous price the broken bandsmen were asking.  The next year, just minutes after the first official notices were posted, the red stamp of "the finger," was affixed to them.  This mark evolved over the next year to be called  affectionately, the "bonestamp."

Compressed Moving Rubber BoneStamp.gif (16082 bytes)

Over the years, the gum eraser treasure was lost.  Sadly, there have been many times in my adult life that I wish I still had it, times when only the imprint of the bonestamp would have captured my disapproval and repugnance for what I was reading.  My friends from the dorm (now judges, bankers, attorneys, veterinarians, specialty builders, bureaucrats, winegrowers, theoretical physicists, dentists and captains of the aerospace industry) have confessed to me that they too have yearned to still have the bonestamp at hand to add their strong personal editorial comment to some offensive document crossing their desk (or arriving in their mailbox).  As a doctor, I had always been aware of the terrible curse that every man must bear from having a chronic case of  male post-pubescent pre-senescent vengeful stress syndrome.  It's not easy to have a cave man's aggressive responses hard wired into you brain while forced to live up to the Twentieth Century standards of NPR. Still seeing my friends suffering so, these most respected men of their communities,  made me realize there was  a gaping hole in the personal  and intellectual armamentarium of our gender.  Then, when my neighbor sold sixteen of my (these days, my attorney prefers I say, "disputed") acres along with her house, I developed a near fatal case of male post pubescent pre-senescent vengeful stress syndrome.  Between court ordered depositions, suffering in extremis, I reinvented modern  BoneStamp® in a desperate attempt to save my own life and to ameliorate similar afflictions affecting my oldest friends.

Compressed Moving Rubber BoneStamp.gif (16082 bytes)

Just because it saved my life is not to say it will save every man's life.  In fact,  it might even cost a few lives: especially from beatings by unhappy recipients of  BoneStamp®  messages. There is also the possibility that a  rage episode from over zealous bonestamping session could result in your unfortunate and unnecessary death.   BoneStamp® intensified rage can be a real pip.  I apologize in advance to the men  whose arteries may not support the physiological excursions brought about by revisiting sub-lethal anger episodes through the use of BoneStamp®.  I know that were it possible to build a BoneStamp® that might not push a million or so men into a premature death from rage induced heart attack and stroke, I would have built it. The problem is that anything that is as much fun and as primitively gratifying to use as BoneStamp®, has just got to be dangerous.  I  asked myself, "Should we  stop selling cherry bombs and bottle rockets on the 4th of July just because we know a few scores of kids blow their little  fingers off, or blow their tender eardrums out, or painfully lose use of their eyes by errant fireworks displays during that glorious patriotic celebration?"   Well, of course not.  Besides, I don't sell the BoneStamp® to children.  It is also true that there have been other behavior induced dangers to the public's cardiovascular health long before   BoneStamp® .  Consider the Menninger brothers' advice to men just before World War II:  based on their erroneous inferences drawn from a retrospective study of heart attack victims,  the Drs. Menninger suggested that getting angry and blowing off steam was good for the heart and arteries.   This counter-intuitive conclusion was promoted in the press by both the doctors  and remained in the press because of the public relations value for the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas.   Between the WW II and the Vietnam War, the Menningers were probably responsible for more American  fatalities than the Nazis, Japanese, and Viet Cong soldiers combined.   Of course, the Menningers meant well. . .So what the Hell, besides, BoneStamp® is priced reasonably for a behavioral health appliance of such high quality, even if using it can result in a premature death.  

Compressed Moving Rubber BoneStamp.gif (16082 bytes)

  • A registered copy of the software Registered Virtual BoneStamp® (Ver 1.00) at $9.99 is almost free (and the beta version actually is free while it lasts) and will suffice for you e-mail needs.
  • The rubber BoneStamp®  at $14.99 is the ultimate accessory for every man who isn't trying to pretend  that he has actually become the somber  parental authority his kids and employees believe him to be.  It's still great for the dorm too.  No one with more balls than brains (including you lucky gals) should be without one.  What a deal at about the price of two six packs of imported beer.   And for a limited time only, you can save almost $10 because Registered Virtual BoneStamp ®(Ver 1.00) is yours free when you buy a rubber BoneStamp®
  • The impact of BIG MAN'S BONEstamp® at $24.99  is that of standard BoneStamp® raised to the fifth power.  A 12 gauge imprimatur, BIG MAN'S BONEstamp® is too much for a boy.  Yet costs far less than than 1/10 the squared price of the standard BoneStamp!  This item is priced so ridiculously low relative to the standard stamp, you'd think I didn't know any more about math than a social scientist.  Better still, Registered Virtual BoneStamp ®(Ver 1.00) comes along  for free with that big old bone so you save almost $10 over the regular price of each item sold separately.
  • If that's not enough of a real deal then buy both stamps at the same time you will receive not only a generous discount on the price of the rubber stamps but two a pair of Registered Virtual BoneStamp ®(Ver 1.00)  downloads for free.  That is,  you will receive $59.96 worth of BoneStamp goodies for only $29.99 (only 2.5 Automatic Teller Machine Units) in the Set d'Bone Special  

Thanks for stopping by, enjoy your stay at BoneStamp®
wpe2.jpg (1187 bytes)
wpe2.jpg (1187 bytes)
Have a Nice Day and if that's not enoughwpe14.jpg (1735 bytes)

              --Dr. Bone1

Return to Home Page


    Up Buy Here More Hype Finger Law Gallery Philosophy Mischief Free BoneCelebs Dr. Bone1 Lady Visitors Privacy BoneLinks FAQs Su Madre?   

Solution Graphics

privacy matters.BMP (9974 bytes)    RSAC Label     
This site is satirical in nature and the products offered for sale are novelty items only intended to be used as humorous gifts and memorabilia There is no pathological psychiatric or psychological condition known as male vengeful stress syndrome so of course there are no appliances to treat it. There is a novelty item called BoneStamp®  and it really can be "a little more dangerous to use than a box of cherry bombs and incendiary bottle rockets." The main reason for this fact is that rage episodes are a public health menace.  Consider how closely  related acute rage episodes are--for victims and perpetrators alike--to beatings, stabbings and shootings. Whoa, let's about traumatic tissue damage leading to loss of life!  Few people realize that chronic rage episodes are incompatible with good health and longevity.   It is probable that people will become more physiologically aroused talking about  events that made them angry than they were aroused by the original events. That means the more you talk about your anger the more angry you become.  It is also known that recent rage episodes are involved in a disproportional number of  fatal automobile "accidents." Finally, even without interpersonal confrontation, rage episodes appear implicated in almost as many deaths from heart attacks and strokes as straining at stool. Of course, I'm a social scientist and not really a medical expert on these matters so you really should check out how all these factors effect your health with your physician. 
Enjoy life and remember your BoneStamp® is for fun so use it carefully.
Copyright 1998-2006 by www.BoneStamp.com. All rights reserved.  Phone 408.353-5440 
or  Contact the Webmaster