Flip that Bird, Flip that Bone, or Flip Off with the Finger;  Damn!  All you need is balls big enough and a BoneStamp.

 

 

Flip Off Supplies--if your 'nads are bigger than your brains.

Developed by a Doctor to Help Anyone Act Just Like A Man.


THE BONESTAMP FACTORY IS CLOSED UNTIL DECEMBER 11, 2016

  Flip that Bird, Flip that Bone, or Flip Off with the Finger;  Damn!  All you need is balls big enough and a BoneStamp.

 

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Frequently Asked Questions

Q:  Is there anyone who should never use BoneStamp®?

A:  Well, you want to remember that when you send something with a BoneStamp® on it, your aren't sending a bouquet of flowers.  If you don't think you can survive a five minute fist fight, you definitely should keep your BoneStamp® in your pocket. 

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Q: Is there any group that can use BoneStamp® without fear.
I
A: Yes. People who are hell-bent on the path to bottoming-out have nothing to fear from use of the BoneStamp®. When you are committed to going all the way down,  the consequences of even the most public use of the BoneStamp® will pose but a grain of sand on your beach of accrued penance. This is especially true for first timers on a free fall to rock bottom. First timers are always excused for everything, at least in North America.  All you generally have to do is look really sorry, get into rehab, and start going to church regularly.   Chances are, you won't even be asked to promise not to do it again:  Dude (as the young people say),  It really is a free fall.   We here at   BoneStamp® hope you won't squander that opportunity by failing to  rack up bigger regrets than a BoneStamp® carelessly imprinted here or there. Once you have arrived at the bottom, it becomes less clear. Some would say, "F___ it, how do your know somebody isn’t on the way to excavate?" I say, "Use your judgment."

Q: As a doctor, don't you find BoneStamp® to be puerile and unprofessional?

A: Puerile, certainly; that's why it's so much fun to use. Unprofessional, absolutely not; I’m not advocating the use of BoneStamp® for anything but self-enlightenment and emotional catharsis in the privacy of your own mind. When you flip the BoneStamp® to somebody, you know you are pissed. The better it feels when you do it, the angrier you know really are. It's great, you can just BoneStamp® away to your heart's delight. Just because you flipped it on to a document (electronic or otherwise) doesn't mean you have to send the document when you are finished stamping it.   It is the act of getting all-BoneStamped-out that allows you to quit rehearsing what you would like to write so you can get on with the business of deciding what you are going to write. Applied social scientists call this process of finishing one thing so you can go on to another "closing the gestalt.". Obviously, a pending communication that still sports a BoneStamp® is a testimonial to the fact your gestalt (that produced the anger) is still gaping wide open and it suggests it would be premature to post such a communication.  Of course, Kurt Cobain, a person ever so much more successful than I (despite the fact he lived many year less), would say, "Who gives a F___ what they say about you. If they don't like it, F___ 'em."

 

Q: What else is the BoneStamp® good for?

A: If your use of the BoneStamp® goes unchallenged, it is empirical evidence that you can get away with almost anything.   On the other hand, should someone take issue with your use of the BoneStamp®, it makes great physical evidence to document of how out of control you are and to justify taking actions against you. Should you be foolish and impulsive enough to send the BoneStamp® in anger to someone who complains, you can be absolutely certain you have contributed the prima of prima facie evidence that will be used against you on your day of reckoning.   Should your signature appear on any serious document accompanied by the BoneStamp® (virtual or otherwise),  unless you are one powerful dude, you don’t stand a chance. Your goose is cooked. You’ll be lucky if they even let you shoot yourself in your other foot.  Of course, in response to the same question, James Dean (yet another man more famous and wealthy than I) would have said, "It’s good for telling people who think they have the right  to get in your face to go F___ themselves."

 

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If you are considering buying a BoneStamp® as a gift for someone you love, you are to be congratulated for your sensitivity to a human condition that most people find intellectually unfathomable.

Q: Who needs the BoneStamp® the most?
A: No question about it, anyone who has a problem with any aspect of authority. Whether your problem stems from not having enough power or having way too much,   BoneStamp®  is for you.  This broad category of happy prospective owners includes all those below. 

Too Much Authority

Not Enough Authority

Resent All Authority

quality control inspectors
students
hackers
bureaucrats
convicts
heretics
salesmen
house painters
anarchists
IS managers
parents of adults
self-employed
college professors
graduate students
grad students & college professors
payroll clerks
working stiffs
U.S. Post Office employees
 

Q: Can you trace the historical roots of the "bone" (or "bird" or "finger gesture)?

A: The first documented use of the bone was by Roman Soldiers during the Empire. It was a gesture the front line soldiers used to psych them up and to frighten their opposition. The raised second finger (--the bone finger—the thumb doesn’t get a number) was some sort of remonstration meaning, "I can take you,"  or  just, "F___ you."   In truth it was a salute more from the passionate heart than the logical mind, especially when you study the sentence structure. It is likely the future tense was assumed so that the meaning was more along the lines of "I am going to F___ you with my finger." Probably, "F___" was applied as a masculine euphemism for the less tasteful deed that was required by male anatomy for a F___ing; that is, "I will ream your anus with my finger." History reveals that at that time, the spoils of war did include a fair amount of the victors buggering the vanquished after the battle. Thus, the threat implied by giving the finger was certainly not idle nor even excessive. In fact, digital dilatation might have been the most the surviving losers could hope for.

The bone or finger gesture appears again among the Celtic people of Western Europe including those who migrated to the British Isles. Historians have again found the gesture being used by foot soldiers facing their enemy at close quarters. For the Celts, it seems more likely the meaning was an uninhibited, "Up your anus," or with the subject and full predicate "I’ll will stick my finger up your anus." About this same time, we find the emergence of kilts and expressions of "mooning" or "browning out" on the battlefield. It is not a large leap to infer that bending over and exposing your ass to the enemy was a reciprocal taunt in response to the bone: Thus, the threat, "Get ready to have this finger stuck up your anus," was answered by "Take a good look at my anus, you won’t find your finger here."

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Q: Goodness, that sounds like a lot of homosexual banter. Are you suggesting that flipping the bone has gay origins?

A:
I suppose it depends a lot on the tone of voice and inflection in the soldier’s voices when they gave the gesture. On the other hand, whenever you have a power differential, you have a struggle. The more physical those expressions become, the more difficult it is to discern where the infliction of physical violence ends and sex begins. Here, gender status may be less important for purposes of sexual gratification than power status. A fact explored and documented thoroughly by the Marquis de Sade. Still your question is a good one, and forces us to ask, "Is corn-holing another man less gay when the man is your enemy and you have just conquered him on the field of battle than it is in a public bathroom with a stranger?" I will leave that for the philosophers and military historians to resolve. For now, why don’t we say that the gesture appears to evolved into more an androgynous curse rather than heterosexual or homosexual invitation to intimacy. Thus, today’s meaning is closer to "I violate your dignity with my will and at my will." Alternatively, a contemporary interpretation might be "I disrespect you intellectually and despise you personally." More reminiscent of Hemmingway’s characters’ cursing, "I obscenity in the milk of your mother," but expressed more concisely as "I can take you" or  "F___ You."   I hope my explanation clears it up for you.

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This site is satirical in nature and the products offered for sale are novelty items only intended to be used as humorous gifts and memorabilia There is no pathological psychiatric or psychological condition known as male vengeful stress syndrome so of course there are no appliances to treat it. There is a novelty item called BoneStamp®  and it really can be "a little more dangerous to use than a box of cherry bombs and incendiary bottle rockets." The main reason for this fact is that rage episodes are a public health menace.  Consider how closely  related acute rage episodes are--for victims and perpetrators alike--to beatings, stabbings and shootings. Whoa, let's about traumatic tissue damage leading to loss of life!  Few people realize that chronic rage episodes are incompatible with good health and longevity.   It is probable that people will become more physiologically aroused talking about  events that made them angry than they were aroused by the original events. That means the more you talk about your anger the more angry you become.  It is also known that recent rage episodes are involved in a disproportional number of  fatal automobile "accidents." Finally, even without interpersonal confrontation, rage episodes appear implicated in almost as many deaths from heart attacks and strokes as straining at stool. Of course, I'm a social scientist and not really a medical expert on these matters so you really should check out how all these factors effect your health with your physician. 
Enjoy life and remember your BoneStamp® is for fun so use it carefully.
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