Flip that Bird, Flip that Bone, or Flip Off with the Finger;  Damn!  All you need is balls big enough and a BoneStamp.

 

 

Flip Off Supplies--if your 'nads are bigger than your brains.

Developed by a Doctor to Help Anyone Act Just Like A Man.


THE BONESTAMP FACTORY IS CLOSED UNTIL DECEMBER 11, 2016

  Flip that Bird, Flip that Bone, or Flip Off with the Finger;  Damn!  All you need is balls big enough and a BoneStamp.

 

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Wholesale Bones

Attention: Clever Retail Merchants, Bartenders, Traveling Salesmen, Bouncers, Realtors, Pimps, Cocktail Waitresses & Drug Dealers! Buy Bonestamps Bulk:

1/3 Gross (48 pieces + rights to 48 free VBS downloads) $199.99. Don't call or email to negotiate this price unless you represent Santa Claus or K-Mart® or you are willing to buy at least a gross.

Here is your chance to sell the impulse buy of the 21st Century.  It will zip through your inventory like shit through a goose.  You don't know how it kills us to have sell our stamps so cheap.  Merchants, please don't  sell our BoneStamp®   for  more than $14.99 because it's just not right: Give the Flip-Off starved public a break.  As to you remaining  bartenders, salesmen, bouncers,  pimps and drug dealers:  Don't think business economists here at BoneStamp®  don't know that anywhere alcohol is served, there will be no market resistance to raising the price to $20.00 a stamp.  If you are patient enough to wait until after 10 P.M. (especially if you pretend each  BoneStamp® is your last), you can probably screw the average drunk into paying for the next drink with two twenties and keeping the change¹ for the  BoneStamp®.   You evil, exploitive bastards.  We think your ethics are reprehensible but we don't know how to separate you from all the honest merchants.  So we are willing to set aside our moral, political and social differences with you just so we can  do business together happily. Life is hard enough.  To that end, new pals, let me welcome the whole seamy lot of you to our wholesale club.  There is no reason to be embarrassed in front of us about how you earn your living.  Look what we do! So now let's get down to business so we can meet your every  commercial need.   Lookie here:  Buy 4 dozen little give-the-finger stamps (absolutely, positively, no returns) and we throw in 4 dozen downloads of Virtual BoneStamp®  for the astounding wholesale price of $4.16 per pair (rubber and electronic flip off appliances).  

4 Steps to easy wealth working in a bar after 10 P.M. with situational ethics:
1. You get a drunk patron to pay for the next drink (or whatever) with 2 twenties $40 -  price of 1 short bar pour = $   35  + chump change remaining on bar after drunk patron finishes paying for drink
2. You sell a BoneStamp to the drunk for what's left on the bar $35 X 48 drunk patrons = $1680 moved from the bar to your pocket in exchange for BoneStamps®
3. You only paid us By Charge Card = -$  199.99   
4. Your profit per weekend       Cash = $1480.01 (and that's assuming you used your own credit card to order the bones) and your drunk patrons still love you for doing them each a favor! Yeowww!

And these figures further assume you actually gave the drunks the downloads to which they were entitled because of the high-roller, after 10 P.M. markup prices you were charging.  Of course you didn't ("they wouldn't remember the password anyway"--as if that would really matter to you), so now here you are with $1480 in your pocket and you still have 48 downloads to sell lunch-time nerds @ a ten spot apiece for another $500. God damn you, your are less than a twenty bucks short of turning two hundred dollars into two grand in two days and you haven't had to even steal a tip.  Well, you didn't steal from another bartender or waitress anyway. So why are you reading this when you could be ordering BoneStamp® in bulk?      

  


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This site is satirical in nature and the products offered for sale are novelty items only intended to be used as humorous gifts and memorabilia There is no pathological psychiatric or psychological condition known as male vengeful stress syndrome so of course there are no appliances to treat it. There is a novelty item called BoneStamp®  and it really can be "a little more dangerous to use than a box of cherry bombs and incendiary bottle rockets." The main reason for this fact is that rage episodes are a public health menace.  Consider how closely  related acute rage episodes are--for victims and perpetrators alike--to beatings, stabbings and shootings. Whoa, let's about traumatic tissue damage leading to loss of life!  Few people realize that chronic rage episodes are incompatible with good health and longevity.   It is probable that people will become more physiologically aroused talking about  events that made them angry than they were aroused by the original events. That means the more you talk about your anger the more angry you become.  It is also known that recent rage episodes are involved in a disproportional number of  fatal automobile "accidents." Finally, even without interpersonal confrontation, rage episodes appear implicated in almost as many deaths from heart attacks and strokes as straining at stool. Of course, I'm a social scientist and not really a medical expert on these matters so you really should check out how all these factors effect your health with your physician. 
Enjoy life and remember your BoneStamp® is for fun so use it carefully.
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